Paw print

[gschellinger]

When Lola was sick with hereditary ataxia, she often stepped on my feet, leaving bruises. In January, a month before I had to make the decision to let her go, she had stepped on each of my feet, leaving not only a bruise, but a small injury from her nails. I have watched them since, and the one on my left foot does not go away. It is healed but the mark remains. Such a small scratch and yet the mark of it remains. So I have decided to get a tattoo of her paw print on that place to remind me of her everyday I really don't need that reminder, but I think it will keep her memory close to me forever. I took her prints long ago with it in mind anyway. This little scar is telling me to go ahead and do that.

My first and only tattoo, my Lola's paw print
Missing Lovely Lola still.
gail

[Jo CIMDA]

Oh Gail,  Lola was never going to let you forget her was she?  What a lovely legacy from your girl. She was such a character.  How funny that she wanted to leave you with something of hers forever.  When you have had it done you will have to post a picture of you newly decorated foot!

Lovely idea.

jo

[shawkyelisabeth]

Gail, Lola has  not only left a scar on your foot to be remembered by you, but she left a scar in the heart of everyone who have followed her story and your long struggle for her health. She will always be an inspiration  as is her wonderful mom!
Big hug from Egypt
Elisabeth

[Janspack]

Gail,

I haven't been active on here for a while so I'm really saddened to see that Lola finally lost her long battle.  You couldn't have done more for her than you did and I always admired your perseverance and obvious devotion to her and her wellbeing.

I've been trying to pluck up the courage to have a tattoo done since my 60th birthday last October.  Not done it yet. 

[gschellinger]

Hi Jan, nice to see you are back.  Yes, my sweet girl is gone. Her problems didn't get better and we all were getting exhausted. Still she was content to go on and ignore her issues. She was so good with her attitude and taught me so much. I will always be grateful to have owned and cared for her.

I have my appointment for the tattoo, a week from today. I think I will have them add her name under the print. Will try to post a picture, but have not figured out how to do it yet.

I hope you are well, Jan.
gail

[Janspack]

So sad that you lost her but she put up a great fight.  Sometimes in a way, that makes our decision more difficult can't it?  They do tell us though when they have had enough and not only that, we do have to think of ourselves, our families and our other animals and how they are being affected.

I know she is running free and fit again.  Hope she has met up with my Angel Pack.

[gschellinger]

She really did a great job of living her imperfect life to the fullest. And, yes, when they are so stoic about their condition it does make it harder. The final deciding factor was when I realized there was no one other than myself (my husband was hospitalized on Dec. 5 with advanced cancer and spinal cord injury, now in a nursing home) who could care for Lola. If something would have prevented me from caring for her, she would have been a very bad spot. So after much mental agony and observance of Lola, watching her decline, I was able to let her go, before more bad things came her way.

Strangely, since I made the appointment for the pawprint tattoo, I have felt more at peace about Lola. I don't cry about her so much now. Jan, I hope she is with your pack too, and that Stella is with them, and our other CIMDA dogs as well...Lola did love to run!

Thanks everyone. I know so many of us have had to say 'fare-well, until we meet again', to our lovely dogs. This group is so strong, so giving, and yet so sad at times. But we also have all our triumphs and celebrations. Lola is one of them. She lived well beyond what SLE and hereditary cerebellar ataxia may have predicted for her. I thank all of you for helping me keep her 'well' for as long as possible. It will be six months soon since Lola and I parted. It sometimes takes a long while to let go.
For the owners of the recently departed...have patience.
gail

[Janspack]

Oh goodness Gail,  I'm so sorry  to read about your hubby.  I hope things go as well as they can in the circumstances.  You absolutely did the best for Lola through her life and at the end of it.

[gschellinger]

Thank you Jan. It has been a hard six months, but we are doing OK. And my Bizzy is keeping me company. She is such a sweet Boston.

gail

[shawkyelisabeth]

Oh Gail, just reading you mention  Stella in your post makes me feel so much hopeful that our furry friends will wait for us on the day to come..they run free..that comforts me..although Celia is a wonderful dog and I have still three other seniors to care for...Stella cannot be replaced...I remember her every day  and miss her horribly as you do with Lola...
Hugs Elisabeth

[Janspack]

Hi Elizabeth,

I still miss dogs I lost 20 years ago or more.  As you say, having other dogs doesn't make you miss them any less.  I lost 2 dogs in 3 days in April 2012 towards the end of my 6 month hospital stay.  I feel cheated that I missed the last months of their lives and wasn't with them when they died.  They were both of a very good age - 16 yrs and 13 yrs but I still wish they could have stayed just a few more weeks so that I could have said goodbye to them properly.

[gschellinger]

That is a tough one Jan. But of course not something you had control over. You were doing all you could at the time. Elisabeth wasn't with Stella either. When my dad died I wasn't with him and regret going home that evening to spend time with friends. I didn't know he would die! But we can't go back and do things differently. We do the best we can at the time.
gail

[Janspack]

I know you are right Gail - it's just hard dealing with it sometimes.  I know it will ease with time.

[gschellinger]

Jan,
And, some things maybe will not be gotten "over." Rather, we learn to live with what is. I still have a hard time thinking about how Lola wanted to live. But was so sick. And then I took her to be PTS. I constantly have to remind myself of the situation and her condition. Hereditary cerebellar ataxia doesn't kill dogs. It just makes it a necessity to PTS eventually. I bet you remind yourself a lot too Of the way it was for you, and how you did your best, and your choices were so diminished then.
gail

[Janspack]

 deinHi Gail,

You are right but what makes things worse is that I'm pretty sure that more could have been done if the petsitter hadn't left them all too late - yes, all - YoYo went into Addisonian Crisis and almost died 2 days after the second collie died .  My vet was definitely not impressed with her and felt that she should have spotted the problems before they got so bad.  Specially as she said she was a trained Vet Nurse.   I'm 90% certain that she wasn't giving either Dazzle or YoYo their medications properly - if at all.   Luckily, my vets managed to save YoYo (his lytes ratio was down to 17!!! Usually runs around 32-35 and anything under 27 is dangerous.

After I came home from hospital I found that she had also used my identity to order £2000 worth of goods with various catalogues and even worse, when I asked her to do some shopping for me, she used my debit card (and yes she was CRB checked) to spend and withdraw cash to the value of almost £1000.  She has left me in severe financial difficulties.   She has since been charged with 12 counts of fraud and is coming before the Crown Court next month.  The magistrate court said the charges were too serious for them to deal with.  The policeman who has been dealing with my case said that he is sure she thought I wasn't going to make it and that if I died, no one would know about the fraud.

And YES I did know this girl and she had pet-sat (is that a word?) for me from time to time for several years.  It's definitely made it difficult for me to trust anyone else with my animals again.

Wow, that makes me feel better getting that off my chest.  I've not really said all that to anyone before.  I know there is nothing I can do now and I wasn't in a fit state to realise what was going on at the time.   Once she has been to court and if she is found guilty, I am definitely going to get in touch with the local newspapers and warn people about not only her, but the people who recommended her to me (a pet ambulance company. I've since found out that she lives with one of the company owners). 

As you can imagine, all this has made it difficult for me to come to terms with the loss of my two beautiful oldies.